THE CRUCIBLE OF HIS CHILDHOOD
Neutron Star Born in Crucible of Stellar Explosion / A Metaphor for the Life of Mr. Farook
Photo Provided By http://www.nasa.gov
Empathy is Vital to the Survival of the Human Species.
Everyone the U.S. is trying to figure out WHY these two people, a husband and wife, could launch an all-out attack on people they knew. How could they do this? Why did they do this? Was it ties with radical Jihadist terrorists?
The authors of the article asked the same questions everyone else is asking. They even went so far as to describe the home life of the male suspect, Mr. Farook and noted that the suspect’s home life was violent, with a father out of control, screaming, yelling, lashing out at his wife and children, throwing heavy objects at his young children, a father who became combative towards family. In addition the father was an alcoholic who combined the alcohol with medications.
I am not certain whether the authors of the news article actually attempted to draw any ties or links between the Violent Childhood of Farook and the violent actions he took out on his fellow workers. It is however of ultimate importance to draw these links.
Growing up in a violent family is no small thing. Domestic Violence damages the emotional growth of a child and the physical growth of the brain. The child with some help may have the chance to make a better adult life. Some children will eventually take their pain out on themselves. And some will grow up and turn that violence onto others.
What kind of child could possibly grow up normal in a violent family? Don’t tell me that you grew up in a violent home and that you are OK. No, you are not. That doesn’t mean you will become a terrorist, but it does mean that it colors your life and your relationships with family and friends and your attitudes towards the rest of humanity.
Read some of the comments by the authors of the N.Y. Times article…………
“Syed Rizwan Farook was a “Normal Person” who kept Halal “just like any other Muslim,” Mr. Khan said. “Why would he do something like that?” he said of the shooting. “I have absolutely no idea. I am in shock.”
“Mr. Farook’s father was an alcoholic and could be violent, capable of lashing out at his wife and children, according to statements his mother, Rafia Farook, made in a series of divorce proceedings beginning in 2006.”
“The father, also named Syed Farook, called his wife names, screamed at his children, hurled home appliances and, at the worst moments, grew so combative that his children had to step between him and his wife, she asserted.”
“The elder Mr. Farook forced his family to move out of their home in 2006, Ms. Farook said in court papers, but he continued to harass her.”
“My husband is mentally ill and is on medication but is also an alcoholic and drinks with the medicine,” she said. The marriage was formally dissolved this year.”
“The director of the Mosque that the younger Farook attended, commented, “I never thought of him as someone who is violent.”
The U.S. has a real phobia about acknowledging Child Abuse. Way too many people believe it is OK to hit a small and defenseless child. Far too many people deny that abuse could be so significant as to cause a person to become violent, toward himself or to others. And very few people even attempt to make the connection between abusing a child and the violent behavior or self-destructive behavior that comes after such a childhood and is carried into adulthood.
One more comment from an observer of Mr. Farook before the December 2015, massacre:
“He’s a mosque-goer,” Mr. Kuko said of Mr. Farook. “He comes to the mosque regularly. Something might have happened to him mentally, physically or whatever that made him change.”
Unfortunately, the anger of Mr. Farook had already been cooking for many, many years, in the Crucible of his Childhood.
Couple Kept Tight Lid On Plans For San Bernardino Shooting By Adam Nagourney, Ian Lovett, Julie Turkewitz, Benjamin Mueller The New York Times Thursday December 3, 2015
Altemeyer, Robert. The Authoritarians. Harvard University Press, June 10, 2007.
Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. NY: Bantam Books, 1995.
Miller, Alice. For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty In Child-Rearing And The Roots Of Violence. Translated by Hildegarde and Hunter Hannum. NY: Farrar Straus Giroux, 1983.
Perry, Bruce and Maia Szalavitz. Born For Love: Why Empathy Is Essential And Endangered. NY: William Morrow, 2010.